my past with father

Before we married, I told my husband about sexual abuse from my father that happened several times in my preteens. As I aged I came to resent him because of his choices, although with therapy I have come to terms with the need to release him. He is now deceased and we don't have to worry about him being near.
My problem is that when I am tired or just not in the mood for sex, my husband will tell me that my father damaged me and that I have issues that he is having to pay for. I have worked hard to be a willing partner to him and I find it cruel that he would throw this up at me just because he is not getting what he wants at the moment. He's not that great of a husband anyway because he is not attentive or thoughtful. This kind of comment makes me feel like he has violated the confidence I placed in him when I first told him about my past.

I think your husband is not playing fair here and that is his way of making you deal with his feeling rejected which speaks to his own insecurities about himself. Maybe he needs to hear you say that to him and you tell him that you're not rejecting him but are simply not feeling well enough to engage in sex right now?