separation

How many others out ther are separated from their spouses? I have been for a few years. We're way over the angry screaming or jealousy phase. We have become very good friens. I asked him the other night if he wuold like to talk about sex between us again in a non-threatening atmosphere. He didn't want to because we were in a busy restauranr. I will attempt to talk to him again. It's been many years. Not sure how it would feel to be lovers w/ him again. Any suggestions?

First I don't think sex in a busy restuarant is a good idea.
I was separated 4 years from my wife before it finally was obvious (to me at least) that we were never going to get back together. A few tiimes we spent the night with each other and the sex was gratifying, yet it also just kept the waters muddied. I would feel like it was an indicator that things were going to get back on track, but as soon as I said something optimistic, she'd retreat. Then I'd be hurt and she'd be mad because she had told me not to put too much interpretation into it. I couldn't help it.
So sex could feel good short term, but long term it could deepen the confusion. At least that's my experience.

sorry stan. I didn't mean that I wanted to have sex w/ him in a crowded restaurant, as appetizing as that may sound. I meant I wanted to talk to him there.

I was just joking. But I guess what I was also saying is gaurd your heart. You're vulnerable and you don't want your heart stompted on.

I,m thinking I love you, I Hate you ,I love you about my husband. Hmmmm.

i don't think having sex with your husband while separated is a good idea. if you are trying to get back together, you need to deal with the issues of why you separated in the first place. sex will only serve to confuse the issues for BOTH of you and will likely hinder any constructive communication about the real issues.

i agree with the advice/opinions posted by others, sex in the short-term MAY feel good, but you will likely suffer in leisure what you do in haste.

new subject. new day. new forum! When a man and woman have been together a long time, and then married quite a while too, & the wife has a substance abuse issue(I hate that word), how does the man go about supporting the wife, his lover and friend in good standing, until now,and still watch out for his own needs too?

I sort of miss stan and I'm also interested in what kbk has to say too. Also, Happy Memorial Day to all soldiers, dead and still living & fighting, and their families and close friends!