my strange family

My wife and I have had an ongoing disagreement about how much she should reveal about her family history. She has two brothers in prison and they'll be there a long time. She dreads when anyone asks about what kind of family she comes from. She doesn't want to even acknowledge that she has brothers. I say that she is a fine woman with a wonderful reputation and while she doesn't need to broadcast their family problems, if someone learns of it, she should not consider it as a mark against her character.

No matter what you'd like to think, people do judge you based on what they know about your family. If, for instance, someone learned your brothers were PhD scientists they'd probably be impressed and your standing would go up. That being the case I'd be reluctant to say I have 2 brothers in prison. I'd just say I have two brothers who have chosen to go a different path from you. Leave it at that.

I agree with Karen concerning disappointments in family histories, however, if anyone judges her character because of what her brothers' reputations imply, they are a shallow. I say, "Hold your head up high and do what is right in life. Quit worrying about what others think." If all of us look deep enough into out geneologies, we would probably find we have less than desireable individuals hanging in our trees. "If God gives you lemons, make lemonade."

What Karen says makes a lot of sense. Keep it general. When you find a friend who can be fully trusted, that is a different story.