Too young?

My husband and I are in disagreement about when to start talking to our 13 year daughter about sex. She is asking me serious questions- obviously from conversations with her friends of TV. I wanted us to talk to her as a couple but my husband wants to avoid it and just not let her date until she is 17. I don't feeling like avoiding the subject is going to make it better.....

If your husband thinks you should not talk, then that means your daughter is going to get her sex education from other 13 year olds. Is that what you want?
Your daughter needs a "big picture" understanding of sex, and I'm hoping you can teach her that it is far more than just casual play. When kids engage in sexual play, real emotions are involved. She needs to consider what it will feel like when the thrill is gone, and the boy zips up his britches and won't speak to her again. It happens. Let her know that there is a reason that sex is best kept inside a marital commitment and that the bond created by marital sex would be a confidence builder in the relationship, not the opposite.
Also, consider that her curiosity for sex at this young age could indicate a need to connect with a man...and given that her dad does not want to discuss this issue with her, it makes me wonder what else he doesn't discuss. Talk with her. Nurture her. Love on her, and let her know that she does not have to bow to peer pressure to be accepted. To the contrary, if she gains a reputation as loose (and it is a guarantee that her peers would learn about it) she would regret it.

It makes me wonder why the husband doesn't want to talk with his daughter. Ok, so he wants her to wait before dating, that's fine. But she still needs parental guidance. The dad needs to get out of the dark ages and be a parent. The next few years are crucial to her identity. Come on, Dad. Step it up. Or better yet, get out of the way and let your wife be the responsible parent.

I have a 14 year old daughter, and thank goodness we have a pretty open relationship. I urge you to talk to your husband about having this discussion with your daughter now. My daughter has friends who are having sex, and she has also been approached about sexual issues. I am so glad that we had the talk last year. In today's day and age, kids are experimenting at a younger age. If you don't share the knowledge with your, she will get it somewhere else, and it might not be good information. Not speaking to her will not keep it from happening. It will still happen behind your back.

13 is a fun age isn't it. I have seen patients 12 or younger already come in pregnant to the clinic. 13 is almost too late to begin the dialogue. May I recommend the study "Passport to purity" as a way to begin to dialogue about this tough topic. You can find it at any Christian book store. It is a great interactive study to take your daughter through, and your husband might find it a very age appropriate way to talk about God's plan for sex and how to stay on that plan.