couldn't keep it up

When my husband and I dated and then married, he couldn't keep his hands off of me because he was so enamored with me. He'd buy me cards and flowers for no particular reason and he was always attentive. That was 15 years and 2 kids ago. Now I could walk around the house all day naked and he wouldn't even notice. He and I don't have very stimulating conversations. We don't argue much but that's because we just don't engage.
I guess I'm saying to those who are in the new phases of a relationship, be sure you are realisitic and that you work to keep love alive. We fell off the cliff and I'm not sure if we can ever get it back.

I was told once that there are only 2 emotions:love and anger. All other emotions seem to stem from those 2. It's possible that your wife has other anger issues she hasn't faced. That green dragon of jealousy can certainly get the best of any of us. Whether we think about having an affair or actually have one or not. Perhaps you can aproach this by asking her about some other things that could be eating away at her anger. Good luck!

Katie, you're not alone...it happens to many (if not most) marriages. It's a case of the "normals"; living life, parenting, working on the house, keeping a job, and all the things that we normally do can drain away the life from our relationships. Sometimes that's ok in that some relationships are not necessarily long-term ones, but a marriage is the big deal. It's work, and worth fighting for. You certainly can't "make" your spouse love you more or better, but you can do everything possible to show your affection, attention, and love.

Perhaps at this point I should apologize on behalf of the male of the species...sometimes we're guilty of not investing in our marriages the way we should. Still, you can't control what he does or thinks...but you can influence him. The Rosbergs (America's Family Coaches) have some great materials on marriage and keeping things alive that can die from neglect...concentrate on what you can do, and then remember to live a life of integrity and responsibility. Check out the conferences that the Rosbergs host around the country, and look at their books for how to cope. Call in to their show if you want to...they're very encouraging and know exactly what you're going through. Check them out at the following web site to see if they have something you'd like to read. Finally, ask your spouse to go to a conference on improving marriage...maybe he'll listen and go with you. Blessings to both of you.