golden boy

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golden boy

Post  CC on Mon May 04, 2009 2:01 pm

I am in my mid thirties and my husband and I basically have one primary problem. His parents think of him as a golden boy who can do no wrong. He really is a good guy, but they go way overboard in giving him compliments. They would live next door and dote on him all day long if possible. they are that enamored with him.
My problem is that they consider me a nuisance. By that I mean that if I have a need that takes him away from them (like visiting my family on holidays) they resent it. And they are not quiet about. They speak with guilt ("Why do you need to do that?") They have never asked me about my career. They give me no compliments regarding my accomplishments. When they talk with me, they are clearly not interested in what I am doing. All they want to talk about is their son. They are very willing to take as much of our time on the weekends as possible and will schedule special times with us without ever asking for our input.
My husband is mild mannered and won't discuss boundaries with them. I am afraid that if I come on too strong, it will just reinforce their dislike for me. I need for my husband to stand up to them and tell them to back off. I also need him to speak more openly to them about how I am a good wife, not just someone for them to tolerate.

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golden boy

Post  kbk on Sun May 24, 2009 9:53 am

It sounds as if "golden boy" suffers from insecurity and low self-esteem as a result of his parents doting on him excessively. i suspect these insecurities are deep rooted from childhood and result in the lack of boundaries as you describe. having said that, that doesn't mean that you should allow his parents to violate your boundaries which means that you need to draw a line in the sand and let them know where you stand on all of this.

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