my fiance's daughter

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my fiance's daughter

Post  JJ on Mon May 04, 2009 1:01 pm

I have been dating a man for over two years and we are probably going to get married within the next year or so. Each of us is middle aged and we're in no hurry. He has a daughter in college who is the apple of his eye. It has been clear from the beginning that she doesn't like me, although it's really not about me because I sincerely believe that she'd act the same with anyone he dated. She has been rude to me and can be cold and rejecting. I have bent over backward to be nice to her, but nothing works. Her dad is a non confrontating kind of person. He's the type who would give you the shirt off his back. We've talked about his need to stand up for me but when the opportunity comes, he doesn't. It is getting so uncomfortable that I'm reconsidering if we should marry. She lives near enough that we would see each other fairly often, and she has already made holidays miserable. If he won't do something about this problem, I'm afraid it could go on for years, and I'm not that patient. I'm afraid that if I took matters into my own hands, I might blow whatever chance I have to be accepted by her.

JJ
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your role in this

Post  leh56 on Thu May 21, 2009 1:50 pm

Someone has to be the adult in this and try to be a healing presence and it looks like if anyone is going to step into that role it would probably be you. Your fiance seems unwilling to say and do what he needs to do. The daughter seems too immature. So that leaves you. You could try to talk it out with her or him, but that may not provide the desired results. You could try to just be a calm peace keeper, but that could leave you holding in your legitimate emotions. Its not an ideal situation, but I'd assume you'll need to proceed with the idea that you will have to provide your own solutions.

leh56
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