my wife's lies

Go down

my wife's lies

Post  Kim on Thu Apr 02, 2009 6:25 pm

I have only been married for about 9 months and I'm learning that my wife is not the person I thought I married. We dated about a year, so I think it was long enough to get to know each other, but now I'm learning that she is hooked on pain killers. I've also learned that she has had fairly extensive a history of drug abuse like cocaine and ecstasy. She's gone out with some of her old friends since we've been married and has used. Before we got married she point blank told me that she had only done drugs a couple of times in college but that was all, and that she didn't like people who used drugs. Now she admits that she said it because that's what she knew I wanted to hear and she didn't want to lose me. She still wants to be married but I told her that I didn't know if I could stay with a liar. She gets real defensive when we talk about it and she's exploded at me several times because she says I am conditional in my love. Maybe I am.
She's still taking the pain killers and I know she hides it from me as best as she can. I think I'm easy going but I don't want to be played for a fool, and I think I'm just being played.

Kim
Guest


Back to top Go down

my wife's lies

Post  t.d. on Thu Apr 02, 2009 8:40 pm

addiction is a disease and the addict needs help to recover. family members also need help to deal with the problem. suggest your wife goes to alcoholics or narcotics anonymous and you go to al-anon where you can discuss the issues with other family members of an addict. be patient and good luck!

t.d.
Guest


Back to top Go down

fear

Post  Ray on Sun Apr 26, 2009 10:17 pm

Fear is a part of the addictive process. I know, I've been there. When you are an addict you still want to appear like you are main stream. You cover up so you can look as normal as possible. Being busted is something you dread, which is why you hide the habit in the first place. Your marriage is young. I don't know what kind of future you will have with her, but be willing to show that you are someone she can confide in, especially when she is down or when she gets caught. The last thing you need to do is teach her to fear you.
You can still discuss your boundaries, but you will only have credibility when you have shown yourself to be safe, definitely not judgmental or parental.

Ray
Guest


Back to top Go down

Re: my wife's lies

Post  Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum