the return of my daughter's father

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the return of my daughter's father

Post  kendra on Fri May 01, 2009 5:42 pm

Ten years ago I gave birth to a beautiful girl. I had gotten pregnant out of wedlock and the father said he didn't want to have the child. He tried to talk me into an abortion. He saw my daughter maybe six times in her first year of life, then he joined the military and left. We heard nothing from him. I got married and we are doing good. My husband has not adopted our daughter, but she calls him dad and he is the only father she has known.
Now the biological father is back in town and demanding that he has rights to see her. She knows about the circmstances of her birth, but she doesn't know the latest because we are attempting to see what our legal rights are before we say anything. There is a chance that we will have to let him see her, but if that is the case we want it supervised. I am struggling with his selfishness because he has not asked how to coordinate this and he does not seem to care about my daughter's life. He just wants his rights.
I want her to be as unscarred as possible.

kendra
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You do have rights...

Post  Martha on Wed May 06, 2009 10:14 am

I dealt with similar circumstances a couple of years ago. I am not sure what the laws say in the state you reside in, but I had some luck. My daughter's birth father had not seen her since she was a few months old. He also tried to come back, and be a part of her life nine and a half years later. Luckily, in the state of California, one can claim abandonment on the birth father after seven years. My husband and I filed the papers, and he adopted my daughter last fall. I hope you find the same peace we did. Good luck! Remember to document everything! Even insistent threats to barge into the child's life on the birth father's part.

Martha
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he has shown his colors

Post  Drew on Mon May 18, 2009 9:12 pm

Ten years ago this guy voted with his feet, and every year after he voted by his silence. Guys like him have curiosity but that doesn't translate into a right parental attitude. Your daughter may have the opportunity to meet him some day but given his voting record, I'd do all I could to do it on your terms, not his.
Good luck.

Drew
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