passive abuse

When you hear of someone being abusive you think of outward violence but I think my husband is passively abuse. We've been married 8 years. I have a good job. We have a 5 year old son. My husband has worked maybe a total of 3 years of our time together, and that has been off and on. The most he has made was 9/hr. He stays at home and plays computer games. I wouldn't dare leave my son with him because he is so irresponsible. He goes days without bathing. We have no sex and at this point I would'nt want to. He doesn't brush his teeth. He has no friends. My mother and sister say I'm crazy for letting him stay with me because I pay all the bills. It is miserable. But religiously I don't believe in divorce. But I don't believe in what he is doing to me. We go days without talking. Even my priest says it would be ok to divorce because of the abuse. I'm confused.

It really sounds as if he is suffering from a mental illness like depression or bipolar disorder. I would hope you could get him to go to some counseling because it would make him feel better and hopefully change the situation at home. In the mean time, you do realize that you are enabling the behavior. I would recommend co dependancy therapy for you such as Alanon through alcoholics anonymous, or some other 12 step program. Good luck to you. The good news is that God loves you and will walk with you through any trial, you will have his comfort if you turn to him.

I would wonder if he is either schizophrenic or asbergers or in major depression. A good doctor could help you determine that. I definitely wouldn't sit still and do nothing.

I totally ditto bphill's comments...my thoughts exactly! Couldn't have said it better myself!

I appreciate your desire to be true to your religious views about marriage and divorce, but I'm not so sure God would demand that you remain in an overtly ungodly relationship. He has broken the marital contract and it would not be wrong for you to simply say that you accept his unwillingness to live God's way. If he refuses to work it out, as others have suggested, then he, not you, has caused the demise of the divorce. For you to end the relationship legally would only signify that you want legitimate freedom from his gross irresponsibility.