Talking to a Brick Wall

James is one of those guys who is actually comfortable talking about personal matters. He likes taking time to gather information and he is flexible enough to recognize that his wife, Elaine, will have separate feelings or preferences. His complaint, however, is that Elaine has a stubborn streak that sabotages successful communication. Unlike him, when it is time to settle differences, she will make herself emotionally unavailable. She often uses the silent treatment to let James know that she will not consider his perspectives. In fact, she seems to hold a condescending attitude toward James when they differ. James wonders how he can keep his spirits up, knowing that his wife does not respect him in moments of conflict.

How Would You Respond?

Sounds like James needs to face reality and recognize that his wife is not touchy feely like he is. He needs to discuss personal matters with someone who cares. Sometimes marriage doesn't give you what you want. Idealists have a hard time accepting that there are some people who just don't care about those ideals.