Internet Pornography
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Internet Pornography
I caught my husband looking at online pornography, and I don't know what to do. I am extremely upset. I feel like it is absolutely unacceptable. We have been fighting about it ever since. He says that he only looks at it every once in a while to keep him from cheating. I think that it is wrong and will only lead to worse. To me it is a form of cheating. I am hurt and angry, and I really don't know what to do.
Kate- Guest
Outraged!
What does he mean "keep him from cheating"???!?!?
I totatlly agree with you that lusting at pictures or video is a form of cheating. How are you not supposed to take that personal? I would talk to him and try to get to the root of the problem. Maybe he has always been that way, maybe this happened after you had children, maybe he's been having thoughts of cheating, maybe he's depressed about your marriage, maybe it really isn't a big deal to him...who knows? Talk to him about it. Hope things work out!
I totatlly agree with you that lusting at pictures or video is a form of cheating. How are you not supposed to take that personal? I would talk to him and try to get to the root of the problem. Maybe he has always been that way, maybe this happened after you had children, maybe he's been having thoughts of cheating, maybe he's depressed about your marriage, maybe it really isn't a big deal to him...who knows? Talk to him about it. Hope things work out!
Mary- Guest
you're in the right
Take it from a person who used to be addicted to internet porn, it is not a good thing, and it only leads to an increased insensitivity to sex in general. Once I decided to come to terms with my porn use, the first thing I did was confess it to my wife, and we got some software applications to prevent it. Also, she can trace my keypad strokes and learn exactly what I am searching for on my computer. I welcome the accountability. Porn is all about exploiting women, and if your husband is down-playing its significance, he is living with delusions. Stick to your convictions. Love is all about making each other better people.
Jim- Guest
Balance but firmness
My husband told me he was tempted to look at porn and I told him I was not shocked by this since it is common knowledge that men are attracted to physical stimulation. I think this caught him off guard in a good way because he was assuming I'd shame him. That said, we put filters on the computer so he could have help managing those temptations. I think we need to let each other be human, but we also need to help each other be GOOD humans.
Nan- Guest
Poor excuse...
Sadly, porn is an addictive, mutli-million dollar business in our country! A very sad commentary on our society.
I am sorry for your pain! When we say "I do", we expect faithfulness emotionally and sexually. Porn destroys trust and builds emotional barriers between spouses. If your husband really is interested in your feelings and the success of your marriage, then he will see a conservative, spiritual counselor or minister to work through this "problem." One session won't "get er done." Only a repentant heart...meaning throwing the computer out the door if it is necessary and saying he is sorry...will start the renewal of your trust and hope for the future with him. I seriously doubt that looking at porn every now and then is a deterrent to cheating. He has to be the one determined to make the changes and doing what is right.
I am sorry for your pain! When we say "I do", we expect faithfulness emotionally and sexually. Porn destroys trust and builds emotional barriers between spouses. If your husband really is interested in your feelings and the success of your marriage, then he will see a conservative, spiritual counselor or minister to work through this "problem." One session won't "get er done." Only a repentant heart...meaning throwing the computer out the door if it is necessary and saying he is sorry...will start the renewal of your trust and hope for the future with him. I seriously doubt that looking at porn every now and then is a deterrent to cheating. He has to be the one determined to make the changes and doing what is right.
anniewoo- Guest
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