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how far to push

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how far to push Empty how far to push

Post  Phil Thu May 07, 2009 4:58 pm

My wife and I just separated, and we have divorce papers filed. When I ask my wife why she is doing this, she says I am a good guy but that she just needs to do this so she can find herself. That's all well and good but we have two teens who are just as confused as me. We have argued some, but not much through the years. We've had some dullness, but some fun too. We're not wealthy, but we're stable. I want to plead my case and ask her to reconsider but friends have said I have to let go of her first. I'm not real sure what the right thing to do is. My fear is that she'll get involved with a jerk, have a wreck of a life, then want back in after it is too late.

Phil
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how far to push Empty set her free

Post  paul Thu May 07, 2009 7:05 pm

if you love her, you'll set her free. and who knows, she may not want to leave after all....

paul
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how far to push Empty Good luck!

Post  anniewoo Wed May 13, 2009 4:13 pm

I'm sorry for your pain and I cannot understand her reasoning either! We are given a precious relationship with one person in our journey. We grow together through all of the ups and downs as we work our way through life. Maybe there has been a lack of communication between you two that is needed in order to have an understanding of her needs. I would be disappointed to think that she has someone else, but who knows. Good luck!

anniewoo
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how far to push Empty pushing doesn''t work

Post  anna Thu May 14, 2009 5:42 pm

When I've had friends and family (a sister) in a similar perdicament, I have learned that pleading and pleading doesn't work. Instead it can have an opposite effect. I say be a person of good character, let her know what you believe is right, and still allow her to choose. I heard a quote once: A man (or woman) convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.
Don't give up, but don't grovel either.

anna
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how far to push Empty pushing...

Post  lwj3 Wed Jun 17, 2009 10:17 am

She's confused too. It might be hard to tell whether she's seeing what you want or trying to find out what she wants. Divorce is terribly destructive...I've been through it in a similar situation, and she simply wanted out, but didn't have the courage to say so directly. (Her actions eventually made it clear, and it ended.) If you haven't already, tell the teens what you feel, and that you hope it can be restored. Since you have absolutely no control over her, you have to let her do what she wants. You can "state your case" for the marriage, and you should be willing to "fight" for the healing that is needed, but it takes two to tango. Love your kids, live your life, and pursue personal integrity and growth...it may be all you can do. Blessings to you.

lwj3
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how far to push Empty Re: how far to push

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